he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
