well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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