Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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