sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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