Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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