you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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