no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
