garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
