They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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