ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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