Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
