Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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