i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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