S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
