So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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