break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
