The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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