I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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