this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
