The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
