That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
