My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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