I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
