She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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