Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
