sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
