did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
