After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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