another moral hangover. fuck.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
