just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
