He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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