I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
