Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
