On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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