the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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