idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
