Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
