The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
