when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
