You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
