pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
