girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We need to get me chipped asap
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
