And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
