mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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