the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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