I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
