Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
