According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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