I'm really into asian looking animals
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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