Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
